Strange Alchemy
by Keiyou
Summary: Brief Intro: ""I just think it's rather early for the both of you to consider marriage, but I thought I'd get this out of the way just in case." Winry was all ears. If it was something Hawkeye had to say, it must be important.
1. Homecoming

"Colonel... I need a house."

Roy refused to look up from his papers. Not that they were very interesting, in fact they were extremely boring.

It just seemed like any normal moment whenever Fullmetal entered his office. He'd stare down at his papers while the Whiny Prodigy ranted about something or other before demanding info for anything stone related in his missions.

Only... _This _was something unexpected. One worthy of immediate response.

"You need a house." Roy repeated, trying to see if he'd heard right. "And why is that?"

Edward stared intensely at the floor, as if trying to burn a hole in the poor berber carpet with his eyes. There was a slight twitch in his jaw before he spoke almost forcefully. "I just need a transfer from my dorms to an enlisted home, that's all I'm asking for."

Roy promptly abandoned his papers, looking up at Edward with reserved curiosity. "I'd prefer a few details before I decide about any sort of transfer, so what's the occasion?"

Edward looked up. "Occasion?"

"You're aware that the enlisted homes are for soldiers who have either a family of three or more, and are married or soon to be, correct?"

Edward gulped audibly (_Oh? curious..._) and nodded.

"So..." Roy pressed on "Why do you need a home?"

Edward breathed out deeply before looking Roy in the eye, determined to speak what was on his mind whether he or his reddened face liked it or not.

"See, Colonel. My family... Well; it got bigger."

_**Keiyou presents-**_

_**Strange Alchemy**_

_**Ch.1, Homebound.**_

_**Edward Elric. The military prodigy and resound 'Hero to the Common Man' had recently gotten himself into quite the pickle.**_

_**Or to put it more correctly; quite the **__**engagement!**_

_**There had been a terrible accident. Pinako had been outside merely setting the Rockbell Automail insignia up on a signpost when it happened. She'd fallen from the ladder and broken her hip. It had been such a serious injury that the doctors in Risembool immediately had her transferred by train to Central for medical care.**_

_**Winry, being the devoted granddaughter to her caretaker and mentor, followed after; not even taking in the fact that she would have no place to go in Central, and that even staying with Edward and Alphonse would be out of the question since the dorm rules only allow two per room and no one of the opposite gender.**_

_**It left Edward with only one ultimatum... if only by influence.**_

_**Everyone already knew damn well they weren't related since she'd been in Central so many times, so he couldn't pass her off as a sister or cousin.**_

_**So... she had to be...**_

_**He'd have to...**_

-----

Roy Mustang had to blink a few more times, and horribly refrain himself from laughing out loud and earning questions about his mental wellbeing from anyone who heard him. Except trying to register what Edward just said seemed nearly impossible, so much that it almost deserved laughter.

And clearly it didn't seem possible for _him _either; only the tell tale sign of blush coating itself over his face begged to differ otherwise.

"So, so let me get this straight," Roy said regaining his composure "You got engaged."

Again the blush flashed and the floor took another burning beating from fiery golden irises.

"To miss Rockbell, no less..." Roy rested a forefinger and thumb against his own chin, as if he were on a stage giving some sort of critically acclaimed approval. "I have to say, it's about time you got your act together, Fullmetal. You certainly know how to pick'em."

Edward shot a venomous look at Roy. "I didn't come here to get critiqued by you, All  
I need is your permission to register for a house."

Roy gestured with a wave of his hand for Edward to calm down. "No need to get twisted up, I wasn't saying anything bad about your Fiancée." Roy simpered as the last word that rolled off his tongue made Edward twitch slash blush. Roy decided he'd had enough of outwardly poking fun at the Fullmetal Newlywed, turning and opening one of his desk drawers to brandish the said papers Edward requested from him. "Just give me the name of the manager to your dorm building and leave the rest to me, alright?"

Edward nodded, digging his hands in his pockets as if he'd written the name down beforehand.

Roy felt completely in his element. While he may have looked cool and collected on the outside, inside there dwelt a devilish version of himself with a twisted mustache, sitting on a black throne and laughing giddily, basking in the forebodingness of it all.

_'Oh... things would definitely be getting interesting for awhile.'_

----

'_It's not as if were really married'_

_'It's not as if were really married'_

_'It's not as if were really married'_

_'It's not as if were really married!'_

Edward let those words wash throughout his mind as he walked toward the front doors of Central military's housing offices, his left hand tightly clutched around the necessary papers Roy had signed and given him to show to the housing commission _('leave the rest to me' he says? yeah RIGHT!)._

The blond soon-to-be-eighteen-year-olds usually fair weathered features were clearly riled up and noticeable to any passerby, even the coat he wore felt unbearable to wear despite the early fall breeze that flew by.

_'E-even she agreed!' _He continued to argue with himself as he pulled the door open and entered the building.

_'Whole damn thing's her fault anyway!'_

_**Previously-**_

_"Winry, how did this happen?" Alphonse said in a quiet voice that would make one think he could be on the verge of crying (unless any of those 'ones' knew perfectly well he couldn't) _

_Edward and Alphonse stood next to Winry Rockbell, their machine loving childhood friend. Like Edward she was his age and had blond hair. Only difference was it was lighter and she usually held it back in a ponytail. Although now she let her hair hang listlessly while her bangs curtained over her tired blue eyes that spent most of the train ride to Central in tears._

_"Sh-she was trying to put up the shop sign on a post we got for the front of the house." Winry said sullenly, looking strait at the wall in front of where she sat. "At first everything was fine, but Den started barking and, I looked out the window, and she was on the ground-" Winry paused, clearly it hurt her to think about what had happened._

_Edward looked away from Winry to the door that the paramedics had gone through with Pinako on a stretcher only a few minutes ago. A mark of sadness washed over his face, silently he hoped the old woman would be alright. _

_As if to confirm this thought, his brother Alphonse spoke up for Edward's inner optimistic hope, kneeling at Winry's side to pat her softly on the back "It's alright, Winry. She looked fine when the doctors brought her in, I'm sure she'll be okay."_

_Edward couldn't take not having an encouraging banter of his own to pile in, so he spoke up. "Of course she'll be fine, the woman's as stubborn as grease on a frying pan. She'll pull through."_

_Winry blinked at Edward's strange analogy before nodding. "I-I suppose you guys are right..."_

_A few hours later the small party received word that she would be fine, only the fracture would render her immobile for a few months or worst case scenario, a year. So after visiting with Pinako for awhile they made way to the Central Military base. At first neither of them spoke much, so it was pretty quiet the whole walk there._

_Until Edward spoke up, that is._

_"So, Winry," He said turning his head to look back at her. "When are you going back to Risembool?" _

_Winry looked up at Edward with a look of borderline mortification. "What? You think I'd leave Grandma here in Central all alone?! Get real, Edward!" Alphonse shirked away from Winry slightly. Edward rubbed the back of his head where she had smacked him with a wrench. "Geeze, sorry! I was just curious." Alphonse decided to intervene and pressed the issue on. "Winry, if your not leaving Central, where are you going to stay?"_

_Winry looked at the ground they walked on, as if thinking about his question carefully. "Well, I guess Miss Gracia might let me stay with her." She answered._

_"That's a good idea." Alphonse said relieved. "Perhaps you could call her later to ask..."_

_Edward drifted away from listening to Alphonse and Winry speak. He too was concerned about how Winry planned on setting a temporary root in Central (or he was till she smacked him that is). Now that she had a plan he let his concern slide as he digressed to thoughts about some forthcoming mission he was told to report to Mustangs office for._

_-------_

_Sometime later Edward sped from Roy's office with assignment in hand, narrowly dodging a stray bullet from a ramped Hawkeye who had been vying for the Colonel's immediate departure from the planet when she had discovered that instead of signing the documents like he'd been instructed he had decided to doodle images of a cartoonish looking Riza in one of his miniskirts._

_Edward still worked to calm himself down after avoiding being used by Roy as a shield when he made it to the lobby where Winry and his brother waited. He noticed a stiff complexion on Winry's face that almost matched Alphonse's own emotionless (yet strangely often emotional) face._

_"Umm, bad news, brother..." Alphonse started off. Winry spoke up after Edward asked what was wrong. "Miss Gracia's moving from her house."_

_Edward gawked before forcing himself to regain his composure, wanting all the while to smack himself in the head. He completely forgot that he'd spoken to Gracia awhile ago, she specifically said she was having movers come in to get things from the house. Edward fixed a scolding look at Alphonse, since he too had been present when he was told this._

_Although now wasn't the time to point out one's memory flaws, the more pressing issue was where Winry was going to stay._

_"H- Have you spoken to Sheiszka yet?" Edward asked, making a quick suggestion._

_Winry blanched and slowly turned her face toward Edward, making him think she would suddenly projectile vomit on him or something cue Exorcist theme here XD_

_Edward's thoughts were suddenly granted a reprieve on just why Winry looked ready to die as a mental image of towering pagodas ranging from 'Treasure Island' to 'How To Manage Your Budget' in hard cover leaflets conquered his vision as they fell straight for him._

_Edward shuddered as he shook the thought away. Alright, so Sheiszka's place was out of the question. _

_So, then where else could she possibly stay? She was too damn stubborn to just high-tail it home or else Edward would have made her go home (if not because he also wanted to avoid any unnecessary metal on head contact)_

_"Why- why don't I stay with you guys?"_

_Both Edward and Alphonse made small noises like she'd said something strange. "Winry, you cant'" Edward said and explained his reason before she could protest._

_Winry looked as if she had no choice but to go home, her face set in a sad prose. Then she said, "What about a house?"_

_Edward blinked. A house?_

_"Like the one Miss Gracia is moving from" Winry continued on. "You could get that Colonel guy to let you guys move into a house instead of living in a dorm so that way we can live together until Grandma heals."_

_Edward felt as if Winry had abandoned her wrench and smacked him upside the head with a brick wall instead. A __**house?!**__ No, it was totally out of the question! AB-SO-LUTE-LY NOT!!!_

_"Um, Winry..." Alphonse said, "That's not possible either."_

_"Damn strait it's not!" Edward snapped, earning both heads to turn in his direction quickly "First off more than two people have to live together in an enlisted house, not to mention they have to be family-"_

_"But," Winry said interrupting Edward's protest. "I'm already practically your family."_

_"You know what I mean!" Edward continued. "You'd also have to be part of the military family, like family that work for the military too."_

_Again Winry interrupted "Miss Gracia wasn't part of the military."_

_"That's because Hughes was MARRIED to her, the only exception would be if someone part of the military were married to someone who wasn't! Not to mention-" Edward ranted on, all the while missing the mischievous grin that broke across Winry's face._

_"... Well, I think you already solved your problem, Ed."_

_Edward's mouth flew shut and he blinked at Winry. "Solved my- What?!"_

_"What are you talking about, Winry?" Alphonse asked, like Edward, he felt totally clueless to the obvious plot Winry had molded just now._

_Winry looked Edward dead in the eye, making him twitch slightly before she spoke. "You're in the military, Right Ed?"_

_Okay, what rock came out of nowhere and knocked her in the head? what kind of dumb question was that? "Winry...you KNOW I'm in the military." Edward said through clenched teeth._

_"And I'm not?" She said pointing at herself with her thumb as if she were some sort of hotshot._

_Albeit a very invalid hotshot._

_Edward ignored the urge to scream and made himself calmly ask "Winry... What the hell are you getting at here?"_

_"Oh!"_

_Edward looked at his brother, whom at the moment looked as if he'd just discovered a brilliant glowing light bulb that radiated from his cranium, he looked way too damn gleeful for a so called emotionless suit of armor. It was almost downright scary. And since when does Alphonse catch onto something before __**he **__does?_

_"I may go places with you, Brother. But I'm not part of the military either!" He declared clapping his hands._

_What. The. Living. Hell..._

_When did Winry and Alphonse suddenly decide to team up against him? Edward watched as if he were some helpless elementary kid about to be bullied out of his lunch money by two tag teaming high school yankees. There was nothing fair about this at ALL!_

_"Will you stop being cryptic and tell me what's so __**fucking**__ special about the two of you not being in the mil-"_

_Again; another wall. Only this time it was a steel one. Being shot from a cannon. Knocking into him so fast he couldn't breath, think, nor summon the ability to jam up the staccato that hammered behind his lungs. _

_"...No."_

_Alphonse and Winry stopped whatever victory party they were in and looked dejectedly at Edward, who had screwed his face into what he hoped was a convincing pissed off expression and not a 'Shit-I'm-embarrassed-and-don't-know-what-to-think' one._

_"Why not, brother?" Alphonse said (or rather whined) "It's perfect, and I don't see anything wrong with it."_

_Of course Alphonse didn't see anything wrong with it..._

_**It's not like HE was being asked to pretend that he was getting married!**_

_"I'm not doing it!" Edward stated matter of factly, staring down the bullies with as much gusto (or rather ego if he had been thinking clearly) as he could muster._

_"Well, I don't see any other way, Edward." Winry interjected, earning a heated look from said person. "Unless you want me to stay in one of the motels here in Central until Grandma heals."_

_**FUCK NO!**__ The last thing Edward wanted for Winry to do was stay on one of the hundreds of potential danger places. Central was no place to live unless you were some super hero or if you had two or more friends to watch your back. Try to do anything here on your own you were lucky if no trouble happened upon you. (Yikes, I made Central sound like Detroit .)_

_Unfortunately trouble seemed to happen whether one intends for there to be or not._

_And if the damn news papers about missing people on and off weren't proof enough... _

_Edward clenched a fist at his side. There was still no way in hell he was going to pretend an engagement. Especially to-_

_"Please, Ed." Winry asked, still bent on making this matter play through till the end. "It's not as if were really married, and besides; later we could tell them it didn't work out after Grandma gets out of the hospital."_

_Edward opened his mouth to protest, only words decided to abandon him._

_"I promise I'll be out of your hair after this is over, and I'll throw in a smaller budget when you come to Risembool to get repaired."_

_Edward's jaw closed tightly. The Rockbell's _did_ tend to be over pricy..._

_He looked at his little brother (or up at him to his annoyance), who was all nods._

_Forcefully he looked at Winry, who waited patiently for the answer she wanted to hear._

_sunava bitch._

**At Present-**

Edward left the building after waiting hours to receive the information about which house he would be residing in, located just outside of the busiest part of Central, and what street it was on.

That was it, for the most part anyway.

The only thing Edward had to wonder (and worry) about now was what he was going to do now that he was in this mess. Was it really worth it to cave into Winry's offer of a cut budget while the equivalent to it was that he'd be subjected to make others believe the Fullmetal Alchemist decided to settle down?

Edward sighed deeply, wondering just how things would really bode from all this, while groaning at the written street name which coincidentally read 'Advent Street.'

TBC.


	2. Settling In

_**Ch. 2, Settling in**_

"Don't take that away!"

Edward's spastic yell almost sent Winry falling forward while holding in her arms a bundle of tied papers that looked dangerously close to spilling out. "What's your problem? There in the way here."

Edward crossed his arms and threw himself back onto the chair he had been previously occupying before Winry came in the kitchen and picked up his so-called 'mess'.

"I liked them where they were."

"I have to agree with Winry, Brother." Alphonse said coming into the kitchen to set down a twin chair that came with the table and the chair Edward sat on. "Our research papers would just be in the way here, besides there's plenty of room elsewhere." "And a kitchen table is no place to have papers scattered anyway, it's for eating on." Winry added.

Edward didn't like that. He was use to using the small kitchen table from his dorm as his desk while he ate so he could both think and feed himself at the same time. Why was it so hard for them to understand his only want?

"I'm putting these in the living room." Winry declared, and acted on her claim by stepping deftly through the arch that led to the said room. Edward huffed loudly.

"Married couples have to compromise, Edward!" Winry called from the living room, all the while laughing while Edward sputtered about how it was only pretend. And damnit Alphonse didn't have to laugh with her like that, it wasn't helping.

Edward decided he would get his own kitchen table for the living room and eat there, just to spite the laughing twosome. Of course the room already seemed to have reached it's quantity limit so that was shot out of the sky.

Alphonse and Winry had been spending the last week furnishing the two story home while he'd been off doing his given mission before this whole, engagement scheme _thing_ started. He'd been made to play as messenger boy between some other state alchemist and a spy who was seated in an outside trading post between Central and Briggs, the northern most part of the country.

Like he cared though, it wasn't his problem what went on between two bickering nations while he had two problems of his own to take care of. One of which who knew perfectly well not to irk him unnecessarily while the other-

Well, the other one was just plain _jerk._

Edward opened his mouth to make this claim when the doorbell rang noisily.

"I got it," Winry said, the sound of something dropping to the floor made Edward both develop thoughts of a soon to be Winrycide and getting up out of his seat to run to the living room, unheeding to Alphonse's complaint when Edward nearly bowled him over.

"You dropped my papers?!" Edward snapped, gathering the scatter in a huff, fixing Winry with malice, until he realized his malice was fixed on her back and turned away muttering about no respect while she opened the door.

"Oh, Major Armstrong?" Winry managed to say before she was embraced in a bone crushing hug.

"Oh what a joy to behold, I'm so happy for you, Dear young Winry Rockbell!" Cried the mellifluous voice of Alex Louise Armstrong, neglecting to realize the poor girl in his embrace was on the verge of passing out from lack of oxygen.

"Oh, my apologies," He said releasing her. "I mean young Miss. Elric."

Edward let the papers he'd been babying fall to the floor, his face dumbstruck and vegetable red.

Unlike Edward though, Winry slowly took the Major's words in stride, including stepping back and taking the still gawked Edward into her embrace. "Thank you very much, Sir."

If Edward still had the will to think properly his mind would have instantly initiated shut down and he would have passed out.

"Is something the matter?" Armstrong asked, his blue eyes registering Edward's strange behavior.

"Oh, he's just being sullen." Winry said directing her 'hubby' to the sofa, where he obediently sat down. "He's just mad because I won't let him leave his mess on the kitchen table."

Armstrong crossed his arms and nodded in understanding. "Yes, I see. A lovers quarrel." Edward twitched. Armstrong turned to Edward, holding a finger in the air. "Marriage requires compromise, Edward Elric." "That's exactly what I said." Winry laughed, gathering the papers and setting them on a small coffee table to the side of the sofa. Then she deliberately sat right next to Edward, taking his limp left hand in hers. "So, what brings you here, Mr. Armstrong?"

"Would you like some tea, Major?" Alphonse called from the kitchen, his iron clad head poking between the arch.

"No thank you, Alphonse Elric." Armstrong replied, "I will only be here shortly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. "I've come to bring you both a gift." He approached Edward with the box, handing it to him. Edward took the box, only to set it on the side table. With an annoyed sigh Winry got up and retrieved the box. Opening it she gasped. Inside was a small gold necklace with a heart shaped pendant. "I- it's beautiful." She could only say.

"It's a precious heirloom that's been passed down the Armstrong family for generations." He said proudly. "And it would make me tickled if you would pass it down yours for generations as well."

Winry only nodded, too choked up to give a proper reply. So did Edward, if only for a totally different reason.

"Well, I must be on my way." He said turning for the door. Before he walked out he turned his head back to the girl and mute boy. "May you and Winry have many fine children, Edward Elric." he said before going out the door.

This time, Edward really DID choke.

-------

"Edward, you can't freeze up like that next time!" Winry scolded him at the kitchen table some time after Major Armstrong left. "Everyone'll get suspicious if you keep making it seem like your going to die whenever someone mentions the marriage."

Edward had his head in his right hand, while holding onto a cup of water gingerly with the other. "I got startled, alright." He said defending himself. "We can't all be brilliant actors, Winry."

Alphonse shook his head. Knowing just how well Edward managed to worm his way around others whenever they went on a field mission or their own personal run. He could be quite the ham, actually. Only for whatever reason Edward was taking the whole pretend marriage thing too seriously.

So either Edward was slipping on his acting skills or pretending to be marrying Winry made him uncomfortable.

Which would mean-

"Listen I won't get tongue tied next time, alright." Edward said taking a swig of his drink. "Just give me awhile to get use to pretending to be married, I never did this before."

Or maybe Alphonse was reading too much into this.

"It'll be over after Grandma heals, so you shouldn't worry." Winry said picking up Edward's empty glass and depositing it in the sink. "To tell you the truth I was nervous too."

Edward looked up sharply.

"I was worried for a minute that he would see right through us." She giggled a bit, before staring down at the floor. "I wish he hadn't given us that amulet, I feel so guilty now."

A pregnant silence engulfed the kitchen. Alphonse decided to break the stoic atmosphere. "So, should we keep unpacking? There's still the rooms upstairs we need to furnish."

So the three spent the rest of the day upstairs unpacking, in which a fight for a room with a view took place between two warring blonds.

_'Yep, I guess I WAS reading into it too much.' _Alphonse thought, sighing as a metal object collided into a thick Fullmetal skull.

Now if only he could find a way to keep them from killing each other before Granny Pinako healed.

TBC.


	3. Shopping Spree

**Ch.3, Shopping Spree.**

Six days of house life later found Edward prying through a fridge with the gusto of a hobo on the street. 

"It's empty!" Edward bellowed loudly, pushing the fridge door closed with an octave '_SLAM'! _

"Are you trying to break the thing?" Alphonse said to him from the kitchen table, a newspaper in hand.

"How?" Ed whined, going to the table and collapsing to a chair, his head flat against the oak wood in defeat. "I don't even have the energy to break a sweat..."

As if to prove this, his stomach spoke up in his favor.

"That's only because we haven't gone grocery shopping yet" Alphonse reminded him. "I hate grocery shopping, that's Winry's job!" Edward argued. Alphonse tossed the paper to the table. "Well you don't have much of a choice, she hasn't come back from Risembool with Den yet."

"Why don't you go grocery shopping?" Edward snapped, a glare fixed at his young tall brother.

"Even if I did Ed you'd still have to go with me, you know I could never tell right from rancid if I went on my own."

This was an excuse of course, Alphonse could easily ask a person working behind a grocery booth what anything he picked up smelled like, except He figured since his brother could use some brushing up on his housing skills he might as well let his older brother learn a lesson or two.

That and Edward was being a royal dink anyway, why shouldn't he suffer for it? 

Edward, desperate for an escape from having to cave in to such a hated chore, hastily reminded Alphonse how Winry was suppose to show up today. "I don't need to go anywhere with you, she'll show up soon, then I can give her the damn grocery list I wrote while she was gone." 

Alphonse sighed, said list was about from the kitchen table to the front door, a good twenty feet in length. No doubt any display of such verocity would result in wrench welts. Except Edward wasn't really heeding this scenario, quite possibly because close starvation was effecting his brain in some warped way.

"Apples, cookies, shepard pie..."

His reverie was interupted by ringing from the living room.

With a huff Edward dropped his behemoth list and raced to the living room for the phone. "Hello?" 

"Hey, Ed!"

"Where the hell are you!" Edward yelled over the phone. "You were suppose to be back hours ago!"

"Nice greeting... glad to know youv'e missed your future wife so much."

"Quit playing around, Winry! There's no food here!" He shouted.

Winry sighed audibly. "Didn't you go grocery shopping for the stuff on the list I left you guys?"

Edward looked ready to dead-pan on the spot. What list?

He voiced his question to Winry, who sounded mortified on the other line. "The one I left on the kitchen table before I went to go get Den, geeze; weren't you listening to me when I said I put it there!"

Edward thought back two days ago, vaguely remembering a hearty spill of grape juice on the counter, in which he hastily tried to clean the mess with the nearest paper towel. Unfortunately one wasn't to be seen so he transmuted a peice of paper which was conveniently right there on the table into a clothy napkin to use.

"Umm, no?"

"Well, there was." She said exasperated. "Listen, your going to have to do it yourselves."

_Did she just say something taboo here!_ That like fell on the lines of performing human transmutation or something!

_**Go grocery shopping!**_

"Winry you can't do this!" Edward yelled before Winry could explain her situation. "That's YOUR job!"

"Sorry I don't know what to tell you," Winry said with a tone of indifference. "The train I was on broke down, so now I have to wait for a buggy to come pick me and Den up. I should be back tomorrow evening, so don't worry about it."

Don't worry? Ed could have cared less about that; his deteriorating stomach was more important damnit! "Please tell me this is a joke!" He begged rather immaturely.

"I gotta go, buggy's here. See you tomorrow!" She hung up on the other end.

Ed stared at the echoing ring tone phone for a few minutes before dropping it, trying to figure out whether or not he'd finally died and went to hell. A quick self pinch to his left forearm followed by pain proved otherwise.

_Damnit..._

-.-.-.-.-

"I could put you in the cart..."

Edward glowered, teeth bared as if he considered biting if Alphonse went anywhere near him. "don't even think about it!"

"Then quit scuffling, you wouldn't even move when there were people behind us in the road." Alphonse sighed. Edward was making it painstakingly obvious he didn't want to be at the road side market, face directed to the ground and mumbling incoherently as they walked.

"Not to mention you walked into about five people while we've been here, you could at least look up."

Not a chance!

Edward grunted, persistantly burning a hole in the trodden soil like he found the theory to 'All You Need to know About Human Alchemy from A to Z' in the brown microscopic pebbles. Stopping the cart, Alphonse turned on his older brother, breathing in non-existing air to scold him.

And from nowhere a cart flew from beside him and slammed into the Bullheaded Alchemist.

"Yo, Chief! How's it going?" Jean Havoc said waving to Edward as if the poor boy weren't clutching his stomach in pain. Havoc turned to Alphonse. "Hey there, Big Guy."

"Hello, Lieutenant Havoc." Alphonse said, the scold in him dying as he worryingly watched his older brother mutter threats of death as he glared at the lanky man in front of him.

"What the hell do you want?" Edward snapped.

"There's alot of rumors going around," Havoc said as he pulled the cart back to keep Edward from turning it over on him. "Frankly all of what I heard around HQ is a bit scattered so I figured I'd get my info from the horses mouth."

The man leaned forward to look Edward in the eye with seriousness echoing in his features.

"Is that mechanic girl really going to have twins?"

Edward fell to the ground almost as fast as Alphonse ghasped. Just what the hell kind of rumors have been flying around Headquarters! 

Havoc shook a hand. "I didn't believe it either; some where saying that was the reason you two were getting hitched, earlier it was just because you got her pregnant last time you left for the countryside and suddenly twins got brought up. Then later it was..." Edward's face had been growing pale with each word Havoc had been saying, where the hell was this coming from! "But seriously..." Havoc cut off his rant, whispering closely. "You don't come off as the type of guy to just jump and marry a girl over an accident from a one night stand."

Edward's demand to harvest information from Havoc about who it was that started such a ridiculous rumor bottomed out. Remembering to try keeping a straight face in the mention of his engagement he got up from the ground and breathed out deeply before saying...with inner demand. 

"No; That's not true. W-we haven't even gotten into talking about... about kids yet."

If walls could talk, they'd be whispering about the strange young man who almost nearly rivaled the color of his own coat for decades.

Havoc chuckled and pulled out a tiny box from the vest of his coat pocket. "Level headed, I like that. But..." Havoc walked around his cart and tossed the object in front of Edward, forcing the young alchemist to catch it in the air.

"Keep that in handy if you ever change your mind." he whispered with a wink. that said, Havoc went back to his cart and left with a quick salute.

Alphonse waved goodbye to the second lieutenant before observing the thing that Edward held in his hands. "What did he give you?" He asked as Edward removed whatever it was that lie inside the tiny box.

Edward barely pulled the object out and made a small noise of shock before quickly stuffing it back in the box and dropping it to the ground. "Brother?" Alphonse questioned as Edward continued on, suddenly taking a turn with his dislike for grocery shopping and turning it into a complete fascination.

Alphonse picked up the object while his older brother wasn't looking and stuck it inside his pouch he usually kept chalk hidden in. Just because it was something from Havoc was no reason to toss it away like trash, it was a gift. Like the one the Major had given him... only smaller. There had to be a good reson Havoc gave this to his brother.

What that was Alphonse figured he'd wait till Edward cooled down enough to tell him. How bad could it be?

TBC.


	4. Worn Out

**Ch. 4, Worn Out. **

"Stop picking on me, would you?"

Edward veered for the back of the sofa in the living room, ducking his head just in time to avoid getting hit by a silky and very feminine and flowery looking cloth.

Or it should be a cloth, if that was a shirt top than he was a seven foot blue eyed woman.

…Which of course he _wasn't_!

Although the seven foot part would have been acceptable.

In addition to coming back with Den, Winry had also brought along a number of her wardrobe with her, and had stopped at a Laundromat on the way back, so with the garb of colors that promoted everything lady like, Edward felt quite out of place in his environment.

"I just asked you to help me fold clothes, and you act like I'm killing you by poking a little fun?" Winry folded a pair of her shorts and sat them atop a pile of others before smirking at him. "Seriously though, you _are_ acting as if women's clothing scares you."

"That isn't it!" he said, looking at the pile with distain like it was the last thing he wanted to look at. "I just don't want to touch underwear is all!"

"Ahhh, you mean these?" Winry hummed, picking at the pile before displaying the aforementioned piece of garment. A black string thing with nary a cloth that looked like it would cover anything smaller than a pocket watch.

His face bloomed rosy red and he fully hid behind the sofa. "That's not funny at all!"

She responded with mirthful laughter, letting an evil thought trickle to her mind. She acted on it by flinging the small article of clothing behind Edward's safe zone, in turn earning a yelp of shock and a pair of devil mean amber orbs trained on her like she was his worst enemy.

"You'll pay for that!"

"Oh really?" The words barely slipped from her mouth before he brought his hands together and set the room in a flash of jolting aqua light.

What was visible after the illumination had been reduced to static electricity was a pile of clothing that looked remarkably familiar…

Almost like the clothing Edward wore twenty four seven.

_Completely replacing the clothes she had been folding earlier!_

"Wh-what did you do?" Winry dug into the pile, tossing aside black pants and black tanks and discovering nothing that even resembled color _or_ what she owned beforehand.

"I eliminated the problem!" Edward stated, like he'd just done the most single handedly good thing on the face of the planet.

Winry adopted Edward's devil glare in a tenfold fashion, holding up a pair of shine catching black pants with shaky hands. "How could you! I had a lot of my favorite clothes in here!" she dropped the garment and turned for a drawer in the room, in which Edward promptly ran away fast since said drawer was the tome for a few size ranged tools, I.e. death's scythe in the form of wrenches.

Winry engaged her biggest one and took off in the direction he went only to trip over the pants she dropped.

"Damn him that little-…" She muttered before breathing in and out deeply.

While on the floor, Winry was able to cool herself down enough to assess the real situation. She sat up to look at the pile of Edward mimic garb. He seemed awfully desperate to exchange something uncomfortable with something he was use to seeing often. Which wasn't women's underwear so naturally…

Picking up the pants and looking at a tank she grinned in a fashion that would rival Envy's most evil scheming grin.

"Let's just see how comfortable he is when I try these on for a change."

"Chief,"

Roy looked up from his papers, and back down again. The last thing he wanted to listen to was the second lieutenant rant raving about some girl that either dumped or dated him.

Which to his surprise was neither.

"We got back reports from the stationed alchemist in Briggs," Havoc said, dropping a parcel to the desk that looked as if it had seen better days. "Turns out there's more going on up there than what's been told."

Gingerly as if the papers would crumble under his touch, Roy picked up the tied bundle of papers, untying the string he set them down and some photos slid out from between the sheets, as if safeguarding them had been priority one.

The photos ranged from blurry to nearly distinguishable, one clearly showing a line of military transport vehicles lined up in front of the gates that served as the entrance into Briggs territory.

"Has he been contacting the spy since these were received?"

Havoc looked dread ridden for a few seconds. "That's just the problem, Mustang." He pulled out a cig from his pocket and let it hang loosely from his lips without lighting it. "Someone was sent out to get progress from the alchemist and he found no one there."

Roy looked up alarmed. If their alchemist wasn't there this meant either he was out patrolling or something must have happened.

Havoc had even worse news. "To top it off the guy we sent out there found a note dated four days ago that he and the spy were going out to patrol a suspicious cavern near the outskirts of Briggs."

_Four days…_

Roy sighed deeply. This wasn't good. Yet if they'd been intercepted wouldn't the military there have tried to confiscate the files Roy now had littering his desk?

Something wasn't adding up, and it sent chills down his spine.

"Why- why are the hell you wearing those!"

Edward gaped like a fish plucked from it's living place to endure oxygen filled shores. Winry had entered the kitchen, not in the shorts and midriff top she had on yesterday or something else that displayed Winry-apparel, but in a black tank top tucked in long black pants that caught the shine from the window outside.

He was pretty sure those were _his_ clothes, but he was already wearing his clothes so how-

Edward slapped his forehead, recalling a certain altercation yesterday that involved a teasing female and an idea to teach said female a lesson.

It looked as if his lesson backfired on him severely.

"What's wrong, Ed?" Winry asked with a note of mirth in her voice, like she was ignorant to what was bothering him. "I'm just wearing my clothes, is something wrong with that?"

Well, he couldn't argue with her there. They may have looked like his clothes but they technically were hers.

"Y'know what," she said, hands on her waist and striking a risqué pose. "I think I like wearing these."

Maybe if he changed them back on her; no too risky. He'd transmuted them so haphazardly that she could wind up in nothing but disarranged clothing on her person.

"…I feel pretty sexy in these actually."

Edward looked away with a flash of embarrassment, did she have to use such vocabulary? She could have just said she looked good in them.

Which she did, to his surprise; but like hell he'd admit that he may have actually done her a favor.

Right now he'd have been more comfortable with the underwear than seeing her like she currently was.

"Alright, I get it." Edward said, hands up in front of him in defeat. "I'm sorry I warped your wardrobe, if you put what you had on yesterday and give me a minute I'll change your clothes back."

She looked at him with curiosity, or fake curiosity. In either case she was nearly making it convincing that he had said something taboo.

"Why would I want you to do that for? I like these thank you very much." she said.

"What?"

"I think I'll go for a walk, I need some fresh air." She continued, picking up her purse from the table and walking out the door, leaving Edward staring at the spot she stood in as if he'd just dreamt the whole thing.

"what the hell…" He mouthed quietly.

Alphonse stood in between a bakery and a deli, his every instinct telling him this wasn't a good idea. No matter how much he felt he had to do this, it wasn't right. Yet he couldn't pull himself from the responsibility of needing to carry this out. It was something he _had _to do; consequences or none.

He stepped forward a few paces, the whole while telling himself it was for a good cause, he was doing something right.

_It was the right thing to do._

_It was the right thing to do._

_It was the right thing to-_

"Alphonse? What are you doing in there?"

Alphonse jumped, turning around sharply to see Lieutenant Hawkeye watching him with a look of perplexity.

"Oh, H-hi there Lieutenant!" He said a bit too loudly.

Riza blinked at him, and what he was holding.

"What's with the cat?" she finally asked. Alphonse stammered a bit, as if a certain someone of short but extremely authoritative behavior would show up and berate him. "I-it was; I mean-"

"It's alright, Alphonse." Riza said holding out a hand to stop his hum and haw. "I won't say anything to your brother."

He sighed in relief, setting the brown and white kitten on his shoulder before speaking. "What brings you this way, Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

Riza laughed. "No need to be so formal, Alphonse. Its my day off." Alphonse noticed that the Lieutenant was indeed out of uniform. Her hair was down and she was clothed in a simple white turtleneck sweater and a knee high black skirt.

"Actually I was headed for your place." Alphonse looked down and would have tried for curious if he could have, so he voiced his thoughts. "Oh?" Was this another gift thing? After Havoc; Edward had been approached by Fuery and Breda, offering a box of picture frames and a Xinganese vase; followed by Falman shortly after, who'd left Edward with a large dictionary.

Only Hawkeye didn't look like she had anything.

"I wanted to speak to Winry," Riza explained. Alphonse nodded. "I think she's home, I seen her there earlier anyway, I don't think she's busy-"

"Alphonse?"

He heard a new voice, it was distant so he couldn't tell who it was.

When he looked over, a non existent heart jumped to his equally non existent throat; or his soul was just rocked by what he saw.

Edward was down the road coming toward them, except both his arms were flesh. Al rushed forward with a mental list of fast questions until he noticed a flaw with this vision.

He was certain Edward's hair wasn't _that _long, he never carried a purse, and his brother; deifying the physics that made Edward a brother in the first place, looked as if he'd gained a few pounds in his chest.

"W-Winry?" he gawked.

Winry stopped in front of him, "What are you doing here, Al? I thought Alicia wanted to see you."

"Winry… Why are you wearing my brother's clothes?" Alphonse said changing the subject, almost afraid she'd left Edward wandering around half-naked somewhere.

"Actually, their my clothes; I'll explain later." she said, catching the instinctive feeling that Alphonse was extremely bewildered.

Winry noticed Hawkeye standing there waiting patiently. "Oh, Hello, Mrs. Hawkeye," Winry said bowing quickly. "Hello, dear." Riza replied. "I was wondering if the two of us could talk, just some girl to girl chit chat if that's alright with you," Riza explained, a gaze in her sharp redwood eyes leading to tell tale signs it was something only Winry would understand.

"Alright; Al could you go back to the house and distract your brother for a few minutes?"

Alphonse realized their talk was private, so he nodded before walking back toward the suburbs.

"Oh, and tell Ed that cat was something I picked up."

"Y-yeah okay!" he replied, remembering the kitten and catching it just before it slipped from his shoulder.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Winry and Riza sat across from each other at a table in front of a small café. "I came to speak to you about Edward." Winry blinked. Edward? What did he have to do with a girl to girl talk? A nervous twitch hit Winry's jaw. Did Mrs. Hawkeye find out about their set up?

"I just think it's rather early for the both of you to consider marriage, but I thought I'd get this out of the way just in case."

Winry was all ears. If it was Hawkeye it must be something important.

Riza looked at her seriously. "Has Edward told you what he's done?"

Winry gaped at the woman. Told her what? What did he do?

"No need to look startled," Riza said quickly. "I just mean has he ever told you about the things he does at the military." Winry paused, her response dead in her throat. She looked down at the tea in front of her, it's shiny clear ocher contents reflecting the dismal look in her features.

"No," she said at last. "H-he never tells me anything."

"For good reason, I suppose."

Winry looked up at Riza.

"Some of the things he's done in the past were rather dangerous." She spooned a sift of sugar in her cup before continuing. "Some of which he's had no choice but to keep secret, but the thing is," Riza fixed her gaze in Winry's cerulean orbs. "Not many of them constitute to secrecy, but there has been times he'd come back with something out of alignment."

Winry knew this; she'd witnessed the mysterious damages herself in the past.

"Just recently his younger brother mentioned he had been complaining of aches in his metal shoulder when he thought no one was around,"

Winry crossed her legs, just what was the lieutenant trying to say?

Riza sighed, as if afraid to say what she had come to tell her. "I stumbled across him in the library before you came last week, he was looking up information in a book on automail assembly."

Winry was a bright girl, but it took a short while before she understood what Riza was getting at.

"Wait, you don't mean Ed has been-"

"I'm not accusing him of anything, he has been known to dabble in things out of curiosity. Except he seemed quite unsettled when I seen what he'd been reading."

Winry palmed her forehead with disdain. Had Edward been trying to avoid seeing her and taking care of his own repairs? Why would he do that?

"Why…?" Winry whispered. Riza looked sympathetic, but could only offer what she believed was the case. "If what you said about him not telling you what he does on assignments is true, then he may have been looking for a way to keep you from knowing every time."

_How could he do this_? Winry couldn't let it go. Did Edward not trust her anymore or something?

"…Just to keep you safe I'm guessing."

Winry's inner reverie broke. "K-keep me safe?"

"Like I said, he does dangerous things. So if I'm right he was looking into repairing on his own to keep you safe if ever a past assignment came back to haunt him," she looked up seriously. "…or people he loves."

Winry blushed and looked back at her tea. It made sense that Edward would be so bold as to try anything to keep others ignorant.

_People he loves…_ Why did those words make her shiver? She gripped her shirt in attempt to quell her heart, and gazed down at the fabric. She'd forgotten she was wearing the clothing Edward transmuted to look like his own. It felt rather strange to be wearing them now.

"Are you feeling alright?" Riza's voice broke through. Winry shook the cobwebs from her mind. This was no time to be in a daze over something as silly as clothes. "I-I'm fine."

"In either case it's probably best you don't tell him I told you this." Riza stated. Winry nodded. "Although I suppose you may not have to worry about it later, seeing as the both of you are getting married, maybe he'll open up to you more."

Winry looked at her tea again, if only to avert her own attention and spooned more sugar than necessary into her cup.

"Speaking of which have you two spoken about when your planning the wedding?" Winry dropped her spoon. "Oh, well we decided sometime next spring so there could be fresh flowers when…"

Winry and Riza went into conversation about flowers and arrangements and Edward's look alike clothes and his secret were momentarily forgotten for awhile.

"Hey!"

Edward and Alphonse looked up from the books they were reading at the kitchen table. Winry walked toward Edward holding a pile of black clothes, which she unceremoniously dropped at his feet. On her person was the outfit she had on yesterday.

"I want you to change them back, every last one." she said. Her eyes were set in suggestion that she would be very angry if he got a single thread wrong.

"Um, okay." Edward said eyeing the pile. Did she really have to do this in the kitchen of all places?

"If you screw up I'll make damn sure you do all the laundry from now on!" Edward winced.

(fear the underwear! Fear the underwear! XD)

"Oh, and later I want you in the living room." Edward blinked at her. "Why?" "Because it's been weeks since you had any maintenance done on your automail!" She snapped. With a red face she turned and stormed away, going up the stairs.

"What was all that about?" Alphonse asked curiously. "She looked angry."

Edward scratched the back of his head. "Beats me…"

TBC.


End file.
